Necessary, Urgent, Merciful, Scattered
A collection of messages related to the Middle East conflict
Note to reader: this is a live, revised version of an essay originally published Aug 22, 2024. I’ll continue to edit as I see fit and am experimenting with this approach due to the dynamic, complex, sensitive and personal nature of the subject matter.
For nearly a year it’s felt both impossible yet necessary to write about Israel and the war in Gaza.
I’ve written about art to navigate chaos, writer’s block in the shadow of October 7th, and the idea “we are not our countries”. But there are many other messages and concepts that stand out, collected across many contexts and experiences, creating a nagging sense of urgency and importance yet without a clear shape, channel or container.
It’s like I’m carrying a large, very heavy box of tools that help me process and evolve my thoughts and feelings on the Middle East conflict. Some of the tools might be rusty or obsolete or are random pieces of hardware that should be thrown away but might be useful some day. Each could become a separate essay. For now I just want them out of my head.
THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR WILL BE SECRET.
This quote is by conceptual artist Jenny Holzer, whose work exemplifies the emotional and visceral impact of words and language. Her current Guggenheim exhibition1 features bold messages projected across the building’s iconic spiral interior.
She was asked in an interview how she defines courage, and replied “those who can identify what is necessary, what is urgent and what is merciful…who work every day to make those things happen”. These snippets feel necessary, urgent and merciful to share if only for my own clarity of mind.
WHAT’S ALIVE IN YOU RIGHT NOW?
This is a classic prompt in the practice of nonviolent communication (NVC). When asked in the right setting, it creates a unique opportunity to clear one’s emotional cobwebs with an active listener — often a stranger. It narrows the focus of both parties to the present moment and is a profoundly effective practice of building empathy for oneself and “the other”.
I heard it on a recent Zoom with a group of Israeli and Palestinian peace activists, including members of Women Wage Peace2. A cross-cultural conversation is translated in real time across Hebrew, Arabic and English, facilitated by skillful organizers and NVC practitioners. It was beautiful to witness and experience.
Out of respect for the sanctity of the space and the privacy and safety of the participants, I won’t reveal anything personal or specific, but one phrase stood out in particular.
HOPE IS WORK
This was said by a Palestinian peace activist and teacher in response to the question “What’s alive in you right now?” as he described his current situation including the fear for his family’s safety in Gaza and the West Bank. He concluded his answer with this phrase, almost as an afterthought. My instinct was to immediately type the words into the chat for documentation. This simple phrase felt worthy of expansion beyond that moment. It felt radical and familiar at the same time. Reflecting on this brings a few things to mind. It also feels worthy of its own essay, which I am resisting. And I am contemplating why.
IT TAKES 20 YEARS AFTER GUNS FALL SILENT TO BUILD A LASTING PEACE
In March of 2024, I attended a webinar called “Paths to Peace in Israel/Palestine” hosted by Search for Common Ground3, an international nonprofit dedicated to peace. The CEO shared some bold truths such as the one above. I cannot locate the original source, and it was obviously quite hard to swallow, but I was grateful for the container he created, within which to hold a thoughtful conversation.
He also pointed out that both sides are traumatized and deeply hurt by what they aren’t hearing from the other side. This insight struck me as one of the biggest barriers to achieving peace. It goes beyond the borders of the actual fighting and the possibility of political agreements. It enters the space we inhabit daily, on social media and in conversations amongst our networks. It reminded me of another message I have imprinted in my memory.
EVERY LIFE IS A UNIVERSE.
I heard this message twice on TV and a third time in my own mind.
After the war began, Rabbi Sharon Brous4 mentioned a version of this idea in a weekly sermon. The original phrasing is “Whoever saves a single life, it is considered as if they have saved an entire world. And whoever destroys a single life, it is considered as if they have destroyed an entire world." It’s from the Talmud, a sacred Jewish text. I interpret it to mean that every human represents an entire world to their individual family and community. Not just innocent children, women and the elderly, and not only those on one side of a border.
I heard it again in a speech delivered by the parents of Hersh Polin Goldberg, after discovering their son and five other hostages had been murdered by Hamas on August 29th, after 11 months in captivity.
Last month, when the IDF killed senior Hamas leader Ismael Haniyeh, the idea popped into my mind as I asked myself if the notion applies. I genuinely wondered if this qualifies as an “invasive thought” but part of being Jewish is to sit with difficult concepts and to use contemplation as a path toward deeper knowledge.
I don’t have an easy answer. I do believe hatred is taught and that not even a chief architect of October 7th was born hating Jews. To state otherwise is to perpetuate the cycle of violence. To label humans as animals and declare we should wipe them off the face of the planet is not a path forward. Just like justifying October 7th as an act of resistance forces Jews to experience the trauma again. Hateful beliefs will continue to spread unless other voices pierce the darkness with alternative perspectives.
JEWS WHO CAN HOLD SPACE FOR THE OTHER SIDE, MUST.
In the weeks following October 7th, Sharon Brous spoke of the difficulty for many Jews and Israelis to maintain a “leftist” perspective amidst the pain and trauma that is still unfolding. She acknowledged the validity of this resistance — our grief is real and it can be too big to hold the pain of others while tending to your own. Yet she also made a plea to those who can hold the pain of others, to do so. To me, this is also about hope.
GOVERNMENTS MAKE TREATIES. PEOPLE MAKE PEACE.
I discovered this quote in 2013 when promoting the annual fundraiser for Seeds of Peace5. They’re a nonprofit that facilitates dialogue among young people in regions of identity-based conflict, such as Israelis and Palestinians as well as Indians and Pakistanis. I cannot locate the source but I associate it with Bill Clinton. (If anyone can find it please let me know so I can attribute it!) To me, it summarizes the work we have cut out for us, but also the incredible possibility of doing the work ourselves without relying on the powers that be to do it for us.
Hope is work.
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This draft will continue to evolve. If you made it this far, thank you.